Life seems just that much more manageable when the laundry has been put away and the desk clutter removed. Strange.
hahhaha this would crack my Dad up, it describes his twenty years of experience in the industry, and the epic struggle to find effective middle managment
— Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love (via observando)
Can’t panic and throw a fit and fret at every first sign of slight loneliness, discomfort, insecurity, self doubt, uncertainty, lack of validation… It’s precisely in these moments that we must move forward.
Comfort is not happiness. Negativity is the natural human inclination. Image verse truth. Eschew mood changers, envy, and resentment. Vision requires daily renewal. No comfort in the growth zone. Thanksgiving always. Patience. Fail-forward.
The drive home was beautiful. Mountain range swathed in watercolors. A soft purple to a hazy orange. Good beats. Summer evening air.
So I felt an instinctual reaction. I disliked it and immediately disposed of it. Despite the quick disposal, a slight taste of it still lingered.
Tonight I felt up for examining it.
It was one part inspired/challenged. Two parts envy.
I guess its a normal thing. Seeing another located at someplace you are not can create some really complex emotions that are definitely not empowering. But this where self belief and character come into the picture. The best version of yourself takes it as a challenge, understands that its a voyage not a day trip, and finds fulfillment in simply “having” and not “having more than blank”. The man finds joy in the pain and pleasure in the work and process, not just the destination.
And its never the full reality. Not actually worth envying. Just an image. Images always look good.
How many times have you felt so inspired and positive at night but them woken up the next morning feeling so completely uninspired and hopeless? To which you then discredit all of the evening’s legitimacy and attribute all of the good vibes to something artificial and not genuine.
Maybe instead of discrediting all of that and dismissing your inspirations, you should take a long hard look at your understanding of emotions and the control they have over your life. Realize that the morning feels are natural and its up to you to develop habits and methods to sustain your hopes. That’s a skill set. For whatever reason, people don’t seem to talk about it so much much and thus not even aware of it’s presence, we commit attribution error.
Trust your inspirations. Work hard at your emotional control skills.
I don’t want to panic every single time I’m a little bored, a little scared, a little uninspired, a little uncomfortable, a little anxious, a little unsure, a little lonely, a little lonely.
Learning to embrace the incompletion. It’s okay.Good things are happening. This is a part of becoming the person you want to be.
And, as usual in human affairs, what determines the behavior are incentives for the decision maker.
From all business, my favorite case on incentives is Federal Express. The heart and soul of its system-which creates the integrity of the product-is having all its airplanes come to one place in the middle of the night and shift all the packages from plane to plane. If there are delays, the whole operation can’t deliver a product full of integrity to Federal Express customers.
And it was always screwed up. They could never get it done on time. They tried everything-moral suasion, threats, you name it. And nothing worked.
Finally, somebody got the idea to pay all these people not so much an hour, but so much a shift-and when it’s all done, they can all go home. Well, their problems cleared up overnight."
At the gym today. While I was lifting weights the thought came to me.
The moment, AND I MEAN THE VERY MOMENT, it gets even a little bit uncomfortable/painful- We flip out. We stop. We retreat.
Perseverance is foundational to being your best self. Comfort is not happiness.
Five fifty year old men sat around the table. Each conceded that all their kids were so old yet still so far from independence. And the one’s that could claim differently, still conceded that it was a long and hard overdue journey.
One man said, “It was my fault. I didn’t teach him.”
The another man quipped up,” No. It wasn’t that you didn’t teach him. You just ignored him.”
The parent stormed into the parent meeting and confronted the teacher.
" What kind of teacher are you? How can my kid get this grade? I know that…" The parent was infuriated and delivered a scathing criticism and angrily demanded an apology/explanation.
The teacher calmly stopped him. He calmly asked, “What’s my name?”
The parent who was now reignited loudly exclaimed how that was beside the issue and again launched into her tirade.
The teacher again, but a little more forcibly this time, stopped him. He calmly asked, “Hold on. Answer this question for me. What’s my name??”
The parent more exasperated than anyone else huffed and replied, ” I don’ know. But…”
As the parent again launched into another verbal slew, the teacher fiercely interrupted and for the first time raised his voice and said, “Your kid has been in my class for a full year and you still don’t know his teacher’s name?! Get the hell out of here.”
After a little more back and forth, but on every occasion the teacher simply stone walling and demanding the parent’s exit, the parent left and the room was quiet again.
A few of the parents in the room clapped.
But only a few. Most didn’t.
It was at this point that he threw his hands up and said Fuck this shit.
He left education and entered business.
This movie is fantastic. I’m obviously particularly partial, but the themes and the cinematography and the screenwriting is just an absolute pleasure to experience.
Better yet, the theater I saw it in was 95% Koreans. There were many younger Korean university students and young adults. But there were also a lot of very older Koreans who lived long enough to remember the Japanese Occupation and its horrors.
They cheered with every slash of the sword and I could hear them muttering under their breaths, “YEAH, that’s right! Kill’em. He’s gotta die.”
Translation is off and obviously I can’t convey the exact tone, but let me just say that it was very hilarious, sobering, and fascinating all at the same time.
Such a good movie!
What’s with all these teenager and young adults turned pastors?
It’s a proven fact that kids who go straight into seminary in their twenties typically tend to be horrible pastors.
I don’t care about how much heart they have and blah blah blah.
The best are those who’ve been out there in the world, lived through decades of adult life in America, and learned how to negotiate it.
Talbots? Biola? Not an ounce of that is even remotely comparable to the lived experience of a career professional.
And admittedly, there are some great younger leaders. But if that’s the case, then they’re either truly annointed, spend a lot of time with older mentors, read a ton of books, or have failed forward. Wisdom isn’t just purchased with four years at a seminary. It’s earned.
Of course there’s so much more to what makes a good pastor but would it not be reasonable to disqualify any individual -who has not spent a few years in the professional world- from becoming head pastor of a large group of kids who so badly need a strong shepherd?
I think half of our spiritual valleys and rough seasons are simply a product of Laziness, Lack of Character, Lack of Discipline, Slothfulness, Spoiledness, Isolation, and Immaturity. Why is this never addressed? It’s always just “Surrender more,” “stop relying on your own strength” blah blah blah. Never any real empowerment.
I don’t know. I guess this can be perceived as just a bunch of whining. But really, what if we started empowering individuals as opposed to simply looking them in the eye and saying, “SEE I TOLD YOU YOU WERE WEAK. STOP TRYING. START DEPENDING ON GOD.”
What if we told them, “Attitude, habits, and personal neurosis are so hard to change. But no pain no gain. C’mon step it up. I know you can do it.”
…Hmm My words and meaning are intensely convoluted. I guess what I’m saying is that within the Church, we tend to foster these little cute mantras that due to insufficient explanation and preparation, the congregation inevitably misunderstands and misapplies. Fulfillment in Life is a complex business and I don’t think it can be broken down like that and handed out as tidy solve all solutions.
On a different note, here’s some excellent reading that I think anyone would benefit from reading: http://www.ivoroakley.com/Preaching%20Series/the_call.htm
On the drive home, pops and I discussed the effectivity of communicating in stories. Hypotheticals, narratives, and personal testimonies are the bread and butter of human talk. I mean, there’s a reason why Jesus talked in parables.
The funniest thing is how people who are constantly immersed in these kinds of stories, begin to see stories all around them. By this I mean that in every conversation they’re in, stories that fit so appropriately just pop into their mind.
We were at our weekly management meeting. The main topic of discussion was ensuring the appropriate flow of information between departments.
As he was explaining the new policies and procedures, he paused and suddenly broke into this metaphor.
"It’s like this guys. Our company is a two lane highway the past five years. But now that Sales are growing, the road traffic has doubled. This means that we have to make some infrastructure changes. We need to expand the roads. We need to add more road signs. Yeah, these things are time consuming and take up time and are rather laborious. But they will prevent major traffic jams and severe congestion. It’s worth it now to upgrade our infrastructure. These our growing pains."
I sat there smiling. We had talked all morning about the necessary adjustments that needed to be made. Our main concern was inspiring and encouraging everyone to view the new changes as not simply more work, but an investment in our growth. The metaphor was perfect and when I talked to him after the fact, he laughed and said that it kind of just came up.
Metaphors/parables/stories are good.
Neuroplasticity- one of the scariest yet also most encouraging concepts.
Maturity- Thinking about others.
This is like the last thing someone learns. And its really not that fun. But it’s so necessary to having successful long term relationships be it familial, platonic, or romantic.
It’s so profoundly contrary to our default mode of being. We’re just so fucking self centered by nature. Thinking about others is one of the strangest kinds of difficulties. Maturity requires daily sacrifices of the most petty nature. It’s a very unsexy virtue. It’s taking out the trash. It’s filling all the toilet papers. It’s taking all the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and placing them back in the cabinet. It’s taking out the dog’s mat. It’s getting dinner going for Pops and the siblings when Moms not around. It’s cutting some fruit for the ones who are extra busy and stressed one day. It’s filling up the tank so the next driver doesn’t have to. It’s taking the car that you borrowed for the morning to the car wash so that they don’t have to. It’s cleaning up the garage and shoe racks so Dad doesn’t have to. It’s closing all the windows downstairs before retiring.
It’s looking at something that you know someone else is going to have to do at one point, knowing that it’s not per say your responsibility, and yet still choosing to get it done for the sake of saving them the work.
This is topic is just so funny because it’s so simple yet so easy to dismiss and fail to really understand. I can testify to how even though someone tells you this idea a thousand times, it flys right over the head.
We (as in college students and young adults) are always trying to act so grown up. Or you know what, scratch that- it’s not even a matter of trying. We’ve already convinced ourselves so persistently that we are actually under the illusion that we are mature. Positively mature. Veritably grown up. No question about it.
I concede. We do have the bodies. We do have the vocal pitch. We do wear the part. We do prance about acting the part.
But we certainly don’t think the part. And we certainly don’t act the part in our homes- the only place it really counts.
They say to not judge a man until you’ve seen him at home.
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3. Angela’s Ashes, Frank McCourt
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