How many times have you felt so inspired and positive at night but them woken up the next morning feeling so completely uninspired and hopeless? To which you then discredit all of the evening’s legitimacy and attribute all of the good vibes to something artificial and not genuine.
Maybe instead of discrediting all of that and dismissing your inspirations, you should take a long hard look at your understanding of emotions and the control they have over your life. Realize that the morning feels are natural and its up to you to develop habits and methods to sustain your hopes. That’s a skill set. For whatever reason, people don’t seem to talk about it so much much and thus not even aware of it’s presence, we commit attribution error.
Trust your inspirations. Work hard at your emotional control skills.
And, as usual in human affairs, what determines the behavior are incentives for the decision maker.
From all business, my favorite case on incentives is Federal Express. The heart and soul of its system-which creates the integrity of the product-is having all its airplanes come to one place in the middle of the night and shift all the packages from plane to plane. If there are delays, the whole operation can’t deliver a product full of integrity to Federal Express customers.
And it was always screwed up. They could never get it done on time. They tried everything-moral suasion, threats, you name it. And nothing worked.
Finally, somebody got the idea to pay all these people not so much an hour, but so much a shift-and when it’s all done, they can all go home. Well, their problems cleared up overnight.
Five fifty year old men sat around the table. Each conceded that all their kids were so old yet still so far from independence. And the one’s that could claim differently, still conceded that it was a long and hard overdue journey.
One man said, “It was my fault. I didn’t teach him.”
The another man quipped up,” No. It wasn’t that you didn’t teach him. You just ignored him.”
The parent stormed into the parent meeting and confronted the teacher.
" What kind of teacher are you? How can my kid get this grade? I know that…" The parent was infuriated and delivered a scathing criticism and angrily demanded an apology/explanation.
The teacher calmly stopped him. He calmly asked, “What’s my name?”
The parent who was now reignited loudly exclaimed how that was beside the issue and again launched into her tirade.
The teacher again, but a little more forcibly this time, stopped him. He calmly asked, “Hold on. Answer this question for me. What’s my name??”
The parent more exasperated than anyone else huffed and replied, ” I don’ know. But…”
As the parent again launched into another verbal slew, the teacher fiercely interrupted and for the first time raised his voice and said, “Your kid has been in my class for a full year and you still don’t know his teacher’s name?! Get the hell out of here.”
After a little more back and forth, but on every occasion the teacher simply stone walling and demanding the parent’s exit, the parent left and the room was quiet again.
A few of the parents in the room clapped.
But only a few. Most didn’t.
It was at this point that he threw his hands up and said Fuck this shit.
This movie is fantastic. I’m obviously particularly partial, but the themes and the cinematography and the screenwriting is just an absolute pleasure to experience.
Better yet, the theater I saw it in was 95% Koreans. There were many younger Korean university students and young adults. But there were also a lot of very older Koreans who lived long enough to remember the Japanese Occupation and its horrors.
They cheered with every slash of the sword and I could hear them muttering under their breaths, “YEAH, that’s right! Kill’em. He’s gotta die.”
Translation is off and obviously I can’t convey the exact tone, but let me just say that it was very hilarious, sobering, and fascinating all at the same time.
What’s with all these teenager and young adults turned pastors?
It’s a proven fact that kids who go straight into seminary in their twenties typically tend to be horrible pastors.
I don’t care about how much heart they have and blah blah blah.
The best are those who’ve been out there in the world, lived through decades of adult life in America, and learned how to negotiate it.
Talbots? Biola? Not an ounce of that is even remotely comparable to the lived experience of a career professional.
And admittedly, there are some great younger leaders. But if that’s the case, then they’re either truly annointed, spend a lot of time with older mentors, read a ton of books, or have failed forward. Wisdom isn’t just purchased with four years at a seminary. It’s earned.
Of course there’s so much more to what makes a good pastor but would it not be reasonable to disqualify any individual -who has not spent a few years in the professional world- from becoming head pastor of a large group of kids who so badly need a strong shepherd?
I think half of our spiritual valleys and rough seasons are simply a product of Laziness, Lack of Character, Lack of Discipline, Slothfulness, Spoiledness, Isolation, and Immaturity. Why is this never addressed? It’s always just “Surrender more,” “stop relying on your own strength” blah blah blah. Never any real empowerment.
I don’t know. I guess this can be perceived as just a bunch of whining. But really, what if we started empowering individuals as opposed to simply looking them in the eye and saying, “SEE I TOLD YOU YOU WERE WEAK. STOP TRYING. START DEPENDING ON GOD.”
What if we told them, “Attitude, habits, and personal neurosis are so hard to change. But no pain no gain. C’mon step it up. I know you can do it.”
…Hmm My words and meaning are intensely convoluted. I guess what I’m saying is that within the Church, we tend to foster these little cute mantras that due to insufficient explanation and preparation, the congregation inevitably misunderstands and misapplies. Fulfillment in Life is a complex business and I don’t think it can be broken down like that and handed out as tidy solve all solutions.
On a different note, here’s some excellent reading that I think anyone would benefit from reading: http://www.ivoroakley.com/Preaching%20Series/the_call.htm
On the drive home, pops and I discussed the effectivity of communicating in stories. Hypotheticals, narratives, and personal testimonies are the bread and butter of human talk. I mean, there’s a reason why Jesus talked in parables.
The funniest thing is how people who are constantly immersed in these kinds of stories, begin to see stories all around them. By this I mean that in every conversation they’re in, stories that fit so appropriately just pop into their mind.
We were at our weekly management meeting. The main topic of discussion was ensuring the appropriate flow of information between departments.
As he was explaining the new policies and procedures, he paused and suddenly broke into this metaphor.
"It’s like this guys. Our company is a two lane highway the past five years. But now that Sales are growing, the road traffic has doubled. This means that we have to make some infrastructure changes. We need to expand the roads. We need to add more road signs. Yeah, these things are time consuming and take up time and are rather laborious. But they will prevent major traffic jams and severe congestion. It’s worth it now to upgrade our infrastructure. These our growing pains."
I sat there smiling. We had talked all morning about the necessary adjustments that needed to be made. Our main concern was inspiring and encouraging everyone to view the new changes as not simply more work, but an investment in our growth. The metaphor was perfect and when I talked to him after the fact, he laughed and said that it kind of just came up.
This is like the last thing someone learns. And its really not that fun. But it’s so necessary to having successful long term relationships be it familial, platonic, or romantic.
It’s so profoundly contrary to our default mode of being. We’re just so fucking self centered by nature. Thinking about others is one of the strangest kinds of difficulties. Maturity requires daily sacrifices of the most petty nature. It’s a very unsexy virtue. It’s taking out the trash. It’s filling all the toilet papers. It’s taking all the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and placing them back in the cabinet. It’s taking out the dog’s mat. It’s getting dinner going for Pops and the siblings when Moms not around. It’s cutting some fruit for the ones who are extra busy and stressed one day. It’s filling up the tank so the next driver doesn’t have to. It’s taking the car that you borrowed for the morning to the car wash so that they don’t have to. It’s cleaning up the garage and shoe racks so Dad doesn’t have to. It’s closing all the windows downstairs before retiring.
It’s looking at something that you know someone else is going to have to do at one point, knowing that it’s not per say your responsibility, and yet still choosing to get it done for the sake of saving them the work.
This is topic is just so funny because it’s so simple yet so easy to dismiss and fail to really understand. I can testify to how even though someone tells you this idea a thousand times, it flys right over the head.
We (as in college students and young adults) are always trying to act so grown up. Or you know what, scratch that- it’s not even a matter of trying. We’ve already convinced ourselves so persistently that we are actually under the illusion that we are mature. Positively mature. Veritably grown up. No question about it.
I concede. We do have the bodies. We do have the vocal pitch. We do wear the part. We do prance about acting the part.
But we certainly don’t think the part. And we certainly don’t act the part in our homes- the only place it really counts.
They say to not judge a man until you’ve seen him at home.
So I had the most vivid dream last night. For whatever reason, i had stomped on some poor fellows head. Like a grape, it splattered. The next segment of my dream was me listening to a bunch of people talking amongst themselves saying “Who killed that guy? Why would someone do that?” But they were all very matter of fact. Noone was angry or emotionally disturbed. The feeling I got was more of slight disapproval, a little tsk tsk and then on with their normal routines. Anyhow, I was aroused from my sleep by my alarm and then spent a good duration of time worried and regretful. I kept thinking to myself,” shittt, that was so unneccesary. Did not have to kill that guy.” And then I finally woke up and felt an immense amount of relief realizing that it was just a dream.
And earlier in the dream the entire landscape was overrun by a large swarm of beetles. We climbed a tall tower and clung on for our dear lives as it violently leaned this way and that.
I don’t think that today was very notable but the details are worth mentioning for the sake of later perusal.
I woke up at 10am. I relished this. Monday through Friday I wake at 5 or 6 so this was a real treat. It’s so funny though how people sleep in every day of the summer. It’s like, that’s not even pleasurable. Hm. I’m convinced that comfort and discomfort must be constantly experienced in succession and alternation in order to really enjoy Life. One without the other is something entirely different.
Had family breakfast at Strawberry Farms. Always a treat.
Heard the morning message at Saddleback Irvine and was particularly captivated by one aspect of the sermon. Buddy talked about how people won’t listen, until they know that you care. He expanded on this saying that you can argue theology, you can spit apologetics, you can persuade all you want- but nothing is more effective than simply telling your own story. Hm. Ruminating on that.
Spent 1 to 2 in the living room talking with my Dad as the cool breeze wafted in. Today’s weather was spectacular. Talked business, discussed the pros and cons of entering the music industry, watched an episode of Kpop star, reminisced about our summer travels.
Played five rounds of basketball with the friends at Onnuri. Cardio finally coming back. Basketball is always so incredibly fun. Especially when the weather is beautiful and you can watch the sky overhead as it changes shades from gold to pink to red.
Unfortunately overheard a coyote attacking someone’s dog. I don’t why I feel compelled to make note of that. I guess it’s just a warning to any out there with small dogs- don’t leave your dog in the backyard alone. Coyotes in California are very real.
Poor Charlie’s Almanack is turning out to be a fantastic read. I love ending the day know that you got just that much smarter and that much further along in your journey. All my life I’ve wondered about what a career in finance and banking would be. I’ve struggled a lot with pursuing certain things because there’s always this question in the back of my mind, “Maybe banking and the wealth management sector was for me.” But this field is completely, 100 percent not my thing. Funny how I came to this realization not by actually working in finance, but simply reading about it. Ah, the vicarious life is sometimes the best life. In the Spring, I was fascinated with Computer Science and after much deliberation changed all my course load to put me on track to graduate from quite possibly the number one CS undergraduate program in the nation. Nine weeks in I realized that it’s not for me. Looking back, I’m so happy I decided to try it. Even though I ended up having to drop half my units, I was able to further narrow down where my passion might lie. These two areas gone, I’m IMMENSELY relieved. Good day!!!
When I was traveling this summer I met a lovely lady named Danielle. It was fascinating to hear about her journey as she jumped from place to place in search of something she could be excited to wake up to. One thing that stuck with me was the idea “Don’t overly focus on finding what your perfect career and calling is. Instead survey your interests and simply go after it. Repeat this process several times and you’ll find yourself feeling much more oriented. So its not about finding what you want to do, but finding out what you definitely don’t want to do.
11:49 pm. Off to bed now. Going down to San Diego for two days to meet with buyers at the Food Expo. It’s going to be an interesting experience meeting with buyers and also seeing all the other companies. I’m particularly eager to see al the other companies and interacting with their owners. I’d like to see some more entrepreneurs. I think they’re a very interesting breed. Infinitely more so than corporate.
Onwards. Even with all the doubt and fears and moments completely void of inspiration. Consistency is key. Keep showing up.
" Resentment has always worked for me exactly as it worked for Carson. I cannot recommend it highly enough to you if you desire misery.
Johnson spoke well when he said that life is hard enough to swallow without squeezing in the bitter rind of resentment.
For those of you who want misery, I also recommend refraining from practice of the Disraeli compromise, designed for people who find it impossible to quit resentment cold turkey. Disraeli, as he rose to become one of the greatest prime ministers, learned to give up vengeance as a motivation for action, but he did retain some outlet for resentment by putting the names of people who wronged him on pieces of paper in a drawer. Then, from time to time, he reviewed these names and took pleasure in noting the way the world had taken his enemies down without his assistance. “
"The idea of caring that someone is making money faster [than you are] is one of the deadly sins. Envy is a really stupid sin because it’s the only one you could never possibly have any fun at. There’s a lot of pain and no fun. Whv would you want to get on that trolley? “